BLACKMAILLE
Part 52 - Song Contest II Winners
by Lord Thomas the Black
 


BLACKMAILLE

Song Contest II Winners

            Welcome back to another month of Blackmaille!

            This month, as promised, we’d like to announce the winners of the Second Annual Blackmaille Songwriter’s Invitational! We had some good entries this time around, too, and have chosen our winners. Not all our entries requested anonymity this time around, but we’ve kept their identities secret (unless requested otherwise) to protect the innocent. Again, as with our last contest, not all our entries limited themselves to songs about maille, with entries coming in having to do with the SCA, and the Middle Ages in general. Our winners, however, were all about maille. Who knew maillers were such talented songwriters?

Anyway, on with the show…
 

            Our first runner-up, taking their cue from the song that started this insanity in the first place, sent in this take on “It’s Not Easy Being Green”.

It’s Not Easy Weaving Chain

(To the tune of “It’s Not Easy Being Green” by Jim Henson) 

It’s not that easy weaving chain
Having to spend each day coiling up the wire
When I think it might be nicer to knit, or embroider, or sew
Or something much more lightweight like that

It’s not easy weaving chain
Your work blends in with so many other ordinary chains
And people tend to pass you over ‘cause you’re
Not standing out like flashy stainless bracelets
Or silver earrings

But maille’s the armor of knights
And maille can be cool and friendly-like
And maille can be big like horse barding or important
As armor, or tall like an elephant

When maille is all there is to weave
It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why
Wonder, I make chain and it’ll do fine, it’s beautiful
And I think it’s what I want to weave


            Not bad. Our next runner-up stayed with the maille theme, sending in this creative “Ode to a Lost Ring”:

How Do I Weave (Ode to a Lost Ring)
(To The tune of Leann Rimes’ (or Trisha Yearwood’s) “How Do I Live”)

How do I get through this shirt without you
If I had to weave without you
What kinda maille would this be
Oh now, I need you in my pliers, need you to close
You are my steel, my ring, my chain

If you ever leave
Galvy you would take away
Everything good in my maille

Without you
There would be no cross on my shirt
There would be no four in my one
There'd be no maille left for me

And I, galvy, I don't know what I would do
I'd be lost if I lost you

If you ever leave
Galvy you would take away
Everything good in my maille
And tell me now

How do I weave without you?
With you on the floor
How do I weave without you?
When you rolled out the door
How do I ever, finish this shirt
How do I, how do I, oh how do I weave

If you ever leave
Galvy you would take away everything
Need you in maille
Galvy don't you know that you are
Everything good in my maille
And tell me now

How do I weave without you?
With you on the floor
How do I weave without you?
When you rolled out the door
How do I ever, finish this shirt
How do I, how do I, oh how do I weave

How do I weave without you?
How do I weave without you, galvy?
How do I weave without you?
 

            Very nicely done! And really, which of us hasn’t been there, am I right? Still, there can only be one winner, and this time the bragging rights (and a copy of “Chainmail in the Current Middle Ages, Vol 1”) goes to this mailler’s take on Johnny Cash’s immortal hit, “Ring of Fire”, titled (appropriately enough):

Spool of Wire

To the tune of “Ring of Fire” by Johnny Cash

Maille is a funny thing,
It takes a lot of rings,
I set my mandrel on fire,
When I coiled up a spool of wire,

I coiled up a giant spool of wire,
It turned ‘round, ‘round, ‘round,
And the coil got tighter,
And it turns, turns, turns,
The spool of wire,
The spool of wire.

I coiled up a giant spool of wire,
It turned ‘round, ‘round, ‘round,
And the coil got tighter,
And it turns, turns, turns,
The spool of wire,
The spool of wire

The feel of maille is sweet,
When armpit seams correctly meet,
I wove maille like I was wild,
And all over my shop it piled.

I coiled up a giant spool of wire,
It turned ‘round, ‘round, ‘round,
And the coil got tighter,
And it turns, turns, turns,
The spool of wire,
The spool of wire 

I coiled up a giant spool of wire,
It turned ‘round, ‘round, ‘round,
And the coil got tighter,
And it turns, turns, turns,
The spool of wire,
The spool of wire
And it turns, turns, turns,
The spool of wire,
The spool of wire 


               Kinda gets you a little doesn’t it? Right there? I wonder if we can get Joachim Phoenix to sing that one for us?
Anyway, To our winner (who again, wished to remain anonymous), your copy of “Chainmail in the Current Middle Ages, Vol 1” will be on it’s way as soon as it’s finished. To everyone else who entered, thanks for your submissions!  

For those of you who didn’t enter, but are now squirming in the crushing grip of envy at the fame, glory and accolades heaped upon our contest winners, don’t despair. Feel free to send in your filk songs anyway. I’m hoping to make this an annual thing, if I get enough submissions to keep it going. 

In the meantime, thanks for joining us for another month of everyone’s favorite maille-related monthly: Blackmaille! As usual, any and all questions, comments, hate mail fan mail, or songs submissions should be sent to me at: 

            Blackmaille
                        c/o Tom Beckett
                        13628 Belmead Ave
                        Grandview
, MO 64030

Or you can email them to me at: tbeckett1@kc.rr.com

            See you next month!

 



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